Best Comment Award

 So if you are a dear friend of mine, and you happen to post comments, please don’t be offended when you are not the winner. Because I think that if you knew me, you would not have been able to say what this Gentlemen did about my most popular blog. So here goes: 

From I have the Magic to repel men in two sentences., 2008/11/12 at 12:37 PM

Since the other comments are only to placate your current mindset, which you don’t seem all that happy with, I feel a need to throw in a diff perspective.

You don’t sound crazy, you just sound lost and too willing to dream of change without affecting it. Rule #1 in ALL OF NATURE: The Female Chooses. Birds do it, bees do it, you do it. A female will send signals and males respond to that. No signal, no response. Few signals, few responses. Many signals… That’s where your magic lies. (Any good body language book could help, it you aren’t that confident using them.)

It’s sweet every bone in your body is reluctantly in love. But the shredded wheat side of me thinks you may have “One-itis.” All eggs in one basket doesn’t work too often. Good luck with whatever you do. However, it’s ENTIRELY POSSIBLE he isn’t aware of your feelings for him. Women are FAR more subtle and sensitive to social signals. Men, not so much. What feels like waving a huge flag for you, is a signal he might think, on a good day, is “maybe something”. If your solidly in friend territory, that will be quickly dismissed.

If you want to let him know, start spending more time with him, call for no great reason, invite him out to some happy hours. The increased, though light-hearted, time demand will alert him something’s up, but he’ll also be able to warm up to the idea instead of the smack in the head that a letter would be. Ah, young love. Good luck.

My first thought was “Wow, why could I have not had this comment months ago.” I then closed it and went about my day. But later while at a stop sign it came to me. “It’s all your fault, sorry Amy, but you know it is… It’s all your fault that you have trouble with dating.”  His comment on the Number 1 Rule. Why hadn’t I seen that. I always wonder why when I get dressed up and go out, that the response from the boys is less than when I just happen to go out unplanned.  It is totally my attitude. I am more relaxed and I guess send out better signals. I am not waiting for something to happen.

This might also be why I am not a good date.  I am like the worst date on the planet. But up until the date, I say the right things, I am relaxed and funny. Then once I get ready for an actual date I turn into this weird person who lost all her social skills. Did I mention uptight. Yes, I am also very uptight.

He had also said that I am a dreamer but not willing to change things. So true, but not just in my dating..umm life <cough> , It also effects my everyday life.

His comment about my eggs being in one basket- well, it made me mad!! But when I looked back, while I wasn’t counting on just guy, I was counting out all the others. I would like to believe that I can rock it and date multiple guys, but I should worry about my search more than finding “the one”.

Since this comment did come late some of his points were already pr oven. The Dude that I “smacked”  with the fact that I liked him, did say that there were times in which he thought there was weirdness, but since we were already friends he let it slide.  Side note to this: Since I told Dude, I have come to realize how wonderful it is to know that I have a friend that means so much to me and know that I mean alot to him. He had no other motives but to be a good friend. I just feel bad sometimes that I could not have done the same. But that comes from trust issues with friends from high school. blah, blah blah… BORING.

So thank you to my commentor. And to others, know that you can be honest with me and it will only make me stronger.

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2 Comments »

  1. DCVibe Said:

    Yes! An epiphany! An “ah-ha” moment via the internets. Don’t you love it when the universe opens for you? (Love the irony that it happened at a “Stop” sign.)

    “It’s all your fault, sorry Amy, but you know it is… It’s all your fault that you have trouble with dating.” I’m hi-jackin’ ur post for the next great concept! 😉 There is no failure, only feedback.

    It’s not your “fault” (though I do like the personal responsibility) it’s just that your actions aren’t getting the outcome you want, what you’re doing doesn’t have the desired effect. It’s nothing personal. You do X it gets you Y but you wanted Z. If you don’t want Y, try something other than X. By your own admission, X’s not really working. You only fail if you fail to change.

    You already see it; When you go out with set intent, it doesn’t have the result you want. Going out unplanned HAS a good result. So… In this example, you have 2 choices; one that works, one that doesn’t so well. It’s simple: Choose what works.

    It’s important for everyone to know YOUR DATING LIFE IS NOT SET IN STONE. Your attitudes are NOT set in stone. Your feelings about your dating life are NOT set in stone. Your habits in your dating life are NOT set in stone. If something’s not working, CHANGE IT. If you aren’t getting what you need, move, go find it.

    The beauty of understand your responsibility in your dating life is you will see all the choices and opportunities that truely exist, not in fantasy, but in real life. And they are all waiting and hope you choose them. Choose wisely. I’m just sorry for all the boys who missed out because of the tunnel vision. 😉

    “The woman who gives her heart sincerely retains her virtue.” -Victor Hugo

    Best of luck.

  2. Andrea Said:

    Wow Ames…your mystery commenter is back!


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