Archive for November, 2008

Becoming Disenchanted

Have you ever watched someone become disenchanted with you. It sinks. We all know that we can not be perfect but I am afraid that I take this role to seriously. Oh, I don’t want to be perfect for myself, I want to be the best friend that I can be. I want to be able to provide the right support and not disappoint people.

I enjoy when you meet someone and right off the bat you think, “This person is awesome!” You have so much fun with the person. Usually for me when I make a connection with someone its feels that have known them for a long time. It can also be one of those meetings where the new person needs you as much as you need them.

But I had the experience of having someone realize that I am not perfect. While I know that this person did not expect me to be perfect I just saw how they had an “oh, OK so that is what she is bad at..” And also in the same week I had someone disappoint me. Of course that person was not perfect and I knew that, but they crossed a friend line and shared some information that was personal. While it was not a big deal, I just made a mental note not to share with them personal things again. There are few people that I know that I tell things too. I know what you are thinking, “umm, does she realize that she is blogging all that ‘personal’ information for the world to read!” and my response to you is “Yes, and that is why very few of my friends know that I blog.”

Oh a side note that has nothing to do with the above. I might trade in my wonderful car, that I have fallen in love with, today and get another that is not so wonderful but not really that bad either… Plus the guy that does the fiance in the office is the cutest thing that I have seen in awhile. These are the times in which I wish I knew a cool way of asking a guy out. Just know that I look good today because after my second job I am heading over there to talk the people down on the new car. They already don’t know what to think about me because I am trading in a car that is worth more than the one that I am buying. Too bad I am upside down in that car loan… augh Money! At least I get to flirt today.

*** did you know that even wordpress’s spell check does not recognize the word blog. Strange…

Didn’t I see you in Yellowstone?

Today I got reminded of how far my family has come from the days when we lived in Mississippi. When I was in the second grade, my family moved to the big city. Actually it was just Nashville, Tn but to us it was the big city. As we made our tour around we came to a stoplight. A gentleman lacking a home and one leg was on the corner. He leaned towards the car and asks  “Didn’t I see you in Yellowstone?”03-14-07-homeless_no_leg At the same moment all of the passengers in the Jeep Wagoneer frick out. We all locked our doors and started to push the window up buttons. The windows were down so we could hear all the music floating in from the surrounding attractions.

Now, this very old car couldn’t keep up with the demand and all the windows were taking turns inching up.

My mother then crys out, “Kids stop it, I am trying to get my window up!” Even at that young of age I thought. Shouldn’t the mother be more worried about her kids. Well, the windows are still jerking and our faces all have pure terror written all over them. The man who was leaning towards the car is now scared of us and hurries as fast as his one leg can take him back to safety, while his, also homeless, friend starts to laugh.

So when the red light turns green my Dad tears out, being the Hero that he always is. But then we get stopped at the next light, which is all of 20 yards away. After the smoke clears from the tires and the windows have made it all the way up there was a moment of silence. Then my brother’s small voice breaks the heavy silence “What is Yellowstone?”

My Dad, “A Park”

“Have we ever been there?”

“No.”

“Ok..”

Best Comment Award

 So if you are a dear friend of mine, and you happen to post comments, please don’t be offended when you are not the winner. Because I think that if you knew me, you would not have been able to say what this Gentlemen did about my most popular blog. So here goes: 

From I have the Magic to repel men in two sentences., 2008/11/12 at 12:37 PM

Since the other comments are only to placate your current mindset, which you don’t seem all that happy with, I feel a need to throw in a diff perspective.

You don’t sound crazy, you just sound lost and too willing to dream of change without affecting it. Rule #1 in ALL OF NATURE: The Female Chooses. Birds do it, bees do it, you do it. A female will send signals and males respond to that. No signal, no response. Few signals, few responses. Many signals… That’s where your magic lies. (Any good body language book could help, it you aren’t that confident using them.)

It’s sweet every bone in your body is reluctantly in love. But the shredded wheat side of me thinks you may have “One-itis.” All eggs in one basket doesn’t work too often. Good luck with whatever you do. However, it’s ENTIRELY POSSIBLE he isn’t aware of your feelings for him. Women are FAR more subtle and sensitive to social signals. Men, not so much. What feels like waving a huge flag for you, is a signal he might think, on a good day, is “maybe something”. If your solidly in friend territory, that will be quickly dismissed.

If you want to let him know, start spending more time with him, call for no great reason, invite him out to some happy hours. The increased, though light-hearted, time demand will alert him something’s up, but he’ll also be able to warm up to the idea instead of the smack in the head that a letter would be. Ah, young love. Good luck.

My first thought was “Wow, why could I have not had this comment months ago.” I then closed it and went about my day. But later while at a stop sign it came to me. “It’s all your fault, sorry Amy, but you know it is… It’s all your fault that you have trouble with dating.”  His comment on the Number 1 Rule. Why hadn’t I seen that. I always wonder why when I get dressed up and go out, that the response from the boys is less than when I just happen to go out unplanned.  It is totally my attitude. I am more relaxed and I guess send out better signals. I am not waiting for something to happen.

This might also be why I am not a good date.  I am like the worst date on the planet. But up until the date, I say the right things, I am relaxed and funny. Then once I get ready for an actual date I turn into this weird person who lost all her social skills. Did I mention uptight. Yes, I am also very uptight.

He had also said that I am a dreamer but not willing to change things. So true, but not just in my dating..umm life <cough> , It also effects my everyday life.

His comment about my eggs being in one basket- well, it made me mad!! But when I looked back, while I wasn’t counting on just guy, I was counting out all the others. I would like to believe that I can rock it and date multiple guys, but I should worry about my search more than finding “the one”.

Since this comment did come late some of his points were already pr oven. The Dude that I “smacked”  with the fact that I liked him, did say that there were times in which he thought there was weirdness, but since we were already friends he let it slide.  Side note to this: Since I told Dude, I have come to realize how wonderful it is to know that I have a friend that means so much to me and know that I mean alot to him. He had no other motives but to be a good friend. I just feel bad sometimes that I could not have done the same. But that comes from trust issues with friends from high school. blah, blah blah… BORING.

So thank you to my commentor. And to others, know that you can be honest with me and it will only make me stronger.

This is your last warning before going to Jail!

Last Monday, while on the phone with my mother, I reached the door to my condo and there was this note that had a sheriff’s star and handwritten at the top was “This is your last warning before going to Jail” hmmm. I told my Mom in a calm voice and she did the freaking out for me.

“What, why is it there? Amy, Amy, what does it say!!!”

So, I read it again and I flipped to the back. There was the date and a stamp from the officer.

“Amy… Did you do something?”

No, I didn’t really do anything.  I mean my tags are expired but nothing that they can arrest you for. Also some of my bills haven’t been on time with the current financial situation. Just something else that I have to take care of. It really doesn’t even surprise me, I have crap like this happen all the time.

“No, Mom. I haven’t done anything.”

“What if they come back, does it have your name on it.”

What?! I had forgotten all about looking for my name. Oh there is where it should be. They are really after that guys mail that I still get…after I have sent it back 20 times saying ‘return to sender: no one at this address’. Boy do I feel relieved.

“Oh, Mom its for a dude that used to live here.”

“Well, you call right away and get that taken care of. You don’t want them busting down your door.”

That’s where I get my imagination from. Then in the next breath my Mom is on to something else. You would not have know that less than a minute ago she was panicking!

So, if I go missing check for me at the local jail. They may think my name is Bob.

I wish…

I wish that I didn’t have to worry about money ever again.

I wish that I had someone to love.

I wish that I could play guitar better, so that I could play and sing at the same time.

I wish that my family lived in Texas.

I wish my friends could never doubt that I love them, and knew how important they are to me.

I wish that my laundry cleaned itself.

I wish that I had a dance partner that made me feel beautiful and graceful.

I wish I had hair that fixed itself.

I wish that I could only think happy thoughts about everyone!

I wish that I could be sure that I am doing God’s will with everything I say and write.

I wish that I could sell an ornament on Etsy, already. I need the money.

I wish that I had more time to read and learn.

I wish I had vacation days.

I wish that I could remember to put lipstick on after I eat.