I know some of you have been wondering…When will Amy get her answer?…Will the boy ever say anything?? Tonight he did.
I was at a cheap movie, Indian Jones, it was very good and I came away laughing and smiling. It was when I went to go turn back on the volume of my phone, that I noticed a text from HIM. I was with HN, who I had not told, so I was quick to put up my phone and hide my emotions. The part I glimpsed was what seemed to be the last part of a longer text. My phone has to divide ones longer than 160 characters…it said “ctions in any way.” So it seemed like the drive home would take forever.
I already knew. I knew. But I found comfort in the fact that I had a few more minutes left to not actually know. It was five minutes in which I played happy conversation with HN. When we got back to my house I was wondering if she would want to come in and chat for awhile. I usually like that, but tonight was special. No worries, she was ready to go and left quickly.
I closed the door behind her and I thought about doing one of those dramatic movie things where I lean against the door to gather my courage… then slowly head to my purse. The purse that holds the phone that holds the answer. Then I would lightly hold the phone, maybe trace the outside and very gracefully open to the message. And that’s when I would imagine hearing it in his voice….. But no I just went and gripped the phone, fumbling around. I even made a mistake by reading one of the other parts first before I retraced it to the beginning. Here is the message, as it rushed to me. It came in four parts.
Amy, you are the very definition of girly, so being sorry for it is kind of like asking the sun not to shine…I chewed on this for a few days, and finally decided that I should be as boldly honest with you as you were with me in your text. You are a beautiful Beautiful, good Christian woman, intelligent and interesting, but I am not interested in you romantically. I am truly sorry if I have misled you by my actions in any way.
I looked at the last part of the message and I realized I was smiling. I had done it, he had read it. And he gave me an answer. That meant a lot to me. This is why he was such a great guy, my friend who deserved my liking him. I am relieved. We can be friends. Now, of course, I want to be able to send him a reply that lets him understand how grateful I am for the reply and to reassure him that I won’t be crazy. I believe that this time I will compose it here, and then send him an email not another text.
Ok, let’s see
You are a great wonderful friend to me. I do not want this to change. In fact, I feel that since I have shared this with you I can (ok, what do I put here… I can get over you, but be mad at you in a day or two and then come to my senses and know that I should not be mad at you because it is not your fault, no keep it simple) see our relationship for what it is, a dear friendship.(Have I said friend to many times??? nah)
Since I am clearing the air, I want you to know that I missed your birthday celebration because I thought that it would be easier if I pulled completely away. Of course slowly…but then I just felt bad. That is why I had to tell you. So you would know that I might need space but I That was not the answer, so now I just owe you a present!
I know that you will be patient with me. (What?…why would I put that! I need a good ending…)
The girl who grabs your heart will be a lucky one and I hope that, as your good friend buddy, one day I will be able to witness it. With Love (yeah I’ll put that) With Love, Amy
Ok done. Well almost, I do need to send it to him. I hope that things will be normal with us soon. It is strange, it feels like this event was years ago and I am remembering it. I will have to hang out with him soon so I will not have to dread that. I wonder if we will ever speak of this out loud.
