Posts Tagged ‘dating’

Best Comment Award

{ November 16, 2008 @ 1:56 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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 So if you are a dear friend of mine, and you happen to post comments, please don’t be offended when you are not the winner. Because I think that if you knew me, you would not have been able to say what this Gentlemen did about my most popular blog. So here goes: 

From I have the Magic to repel men in two sentences., 2008/11/12 at 12:37 PM

Since the other comments are only to placate your current mindset, which you don’t seem all that happy with, I feel a need to throw in a diff perspective.

You don’t sound crazy, you just sound lost and too willing to dream of change without affecting it. Rule #1 in ALL OF NATURE: The Female Chooses. Birds do it, bees do it, you do it. A female will send signals and males respond to that. No signal, no response. Few signals, few responses. Many signals… That’s where your magic lies. (Any good body language book could help, it you aren’t that confident using them.)

It’s sweet every bone in your body is reluctantly in love. But the shredded wheat side of me thinks you may have “One-itis.” All eggs in one basket doesn’t work too often. Good luck with whatever you do. However, it’s ENTIRELY POSSIBLE he isn’t aware of your feelings for him. Women are FAR more subtle and sensitive to social signals. Men, not so much. What feels like waving a huge flag for you, is a signal he might think, on a good day, is “maybe something”. If your solidly in friend territory, that will be quickly dismissed.

If you want to let him know, start spending more time with him, call for no great reason, invite him out to some happy hours. The increased, though light-hearted, time demand will alert him something’s up, but he’ll also be able to warm up to the idea instead of the smack in the head that a letter would be. Ah, young love. Good luck.

My first thought was “Wow, why could I have not had this comment months ago.” I then closed it and went about my day. But later while at a stop sign it came to me. “It’s all your fault, sorry Amy, but you know it is… It’s all your fault that you have trouble with dating.”  His comment on the Number 1 Rule. Why hadn’t I seen that. I always wonder why when I get dressed up and go out, that the response from the boys is less than when I just happen to go out unplanned.  It is totally my attitude. I am more relaxed and I guess send out better signals. I am not waiting for something to happen.

This might also be why I am not a good date.  I am like the worst date on the planet. But up until the date, I say the right things, I am relaxed and funny. Then once I get ready for an actual date I turn into this weird person who lost all her social skills. Did I mention uptight. Yes, I am also very uptight.

He had also said that I am a dreamer but not willing to change things. So true, but not just in my dating..umm life <cough> , It also effects my everyday life.

His comment about my eggs being in one basket- well, it made me mad!! But when I looked back, while I wasn’t counting on just guy, I was counting out all the others. I would like to believe that I can rock it and date multiple guys, but I should worry about my search more than finding “the one”.

Since this comment did come late some of his points were already pr oven. The Dude that I “smacked”  with the fact that I liked him, did say that there were times in which he thought there was weirdness, but since we were already friends he let it slide.  Side note to this: Since I told Dude, I have come to realize how wonderful it is to know that I have a friend that means so much to me and know that I mean alot to him. He had no other motives but to be a good friend. I just feel bad sometimes that I could not have done the same. But that comes from trust issues with friends from high school. blah, blah blah… BORING.

So thank you to my commentor. And to others, know that you can be honest with me and it will only make me stronger.

He got the message alright.

{ September 9, 2008 @ 11:15 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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I know some of you have been wondering…When will Amy get her answer?…Will the boy ever say anything?? Tonight he did.

I was at a cheap movie, Indian Jones, it was very good and I came away laughing and smiling. It was when I went to go turn back on the volume of my phone, that I noticed a text from HIM. I was with HN, who I had not told, so I was quick to put up my phone and hide my emotions. The part I glimpsed was what seemed to be the last part of a longer text. My phone has to divide ones longer than 160 characters…it said “ctions in any way.” So it seemed like the drive home would take forever.

I already knew. I knew. But I found comfort in the fact that I had a few more minutes left to not actually know. It was five minutes in which I played happy conversation with HN. When we got back to my house I was wondering if she would want to come in and chat for awhile. I usually like that, but tonight was special. No worries, she was ready to go and left quickly.

I closed the door behind her and I thought about doing one of those dramatic movie things where I lean against the door to gather my courage… then slowly head to my purse. The purse that holds the phone that holds the answer. Then I would lightly hold the phone, maybe trace the outside and very gracefully open to the message. And that’s when I would imagine hearing it in his voice….. But no I just went and gripped the phone, fumbling around. I even made a mistake by reading one of the other parts first before I retraced it to the beginning. Here is the message, as it rushed to me. It came in four parts.

Amy, you are the very definition of girly, so being sorry for it is kind of like asking the sun not to shine…I chewed on this for a few days, and finally decided that I should be as boldly honest with you as you were with me in your text. You are a beautiful Beautiful, good Christian woman, intelligent and interesting, but I am not interested in you romantically. I am truly sorry if I have misled you by my actions in any way.

I looked at the last part of the message and I realized I was smiling. I had done it, he had read it. And he gave me an answer. That meant a lot to me. This is why he was such a great guy, my friend who deserved my liking him. I am relieved. We can be friends. Now, of course, I want to be able to send him a reply that lets him understand how grateful I am for the reply and to reassure him that I won’t be crazy. I believe that this time I will compose it here, and then send him an email not another text.

Ok, let’s see

Dear Guy that doesn’t love me “like that”,Thank you so for the text. As I said before I did not expect anything from you but I was delighted grateful to receive a reply. For a long time while now I have been feeling like I was almost lying to you. I deep down knew that you did not share my feelings, but I somehow needed to hear it from you.

You are a great wonderful friend to me. I do not want this to change. In fact, I feel that since I have shared this with you I can (ok, what do I put here… I can get over you, but be mad at you in a day or two and then come to my senses and know that I should not be mad at you because it is not your fault, no keep it simple) see our relationship for what it is, a dear friendship.(Have I said friend to many times??? nah)

Since I am clearing the air, I want you to know that I missed your birthday celebration because I thought that it would be easier if I pulled completely away. Of course slowly…but then I just felt bad. That is why I had to tell you. So you would know that I might need space but I That was not the answer, so now I just owe you a present!

 I know that you will be patient with me. (What?…why would I put that! I need a good ending…)

I would like to make sure that you know that I am so cool and amazing that I will bounce back in five minutes and one day you will say.. Oh NO, why didn’t I marry her. (Better not!! That was for me.)

The girl who grabs your heart will be a lucky one and I hope that, as your good friend buddy, one day I will be able to witness it. With Love (yeah I’ll put that) With Love, Amy

Ok done. Well almost, I do need to send it to him. I hope that things will be normal with us soon. It is strange, it feels like this event was years ago and I am remembering it. I will have to hang out with him soon so I will not have to dread that. I wonder if we will ever speak of this out loud.

Wish I had a real update…

{ September 8, 2008 @ 2:22 am } · { Uncategorized }
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No news, no news. Luckily today I was very busy. This kept me from looking at my phone every few minutes.

You know how when you are waiting on someone to call you keep making sure that the volume on your phone is high enough. And then you keep checking your battery to make sure that you have no reason to think that the phone will die and then they won’t leave a message and you will never know that they called!!

I was only able to check the phone every three hours or so. Everytime I would hold my breath and… well I can’t tell you if I was dreading a phone call or if I wanted a phone call. Although I would love to be able to  hear how much he actual does love me…the longer I wait the more I know that won’t be the case. Then I don’t want to miss a call because it will seem that I am avoiding him.

I was doing fine, but I felt that I wanted to yell at whoever would listen “I told HIM!” but I did not tell people, remember I learned my lesson about the two dates in one week. It then captured this fairy tale of its own. The only other person that knows is him…(well and wordpress, but everyone that reads my blog is removed from my romantic life, hence why I can talk about it.)

Then I got a voicemail but there was no missed call. I freaked out… How could that have happened. I heard the voicemail ring while I was talking to about thirty people, showing them a website. Although I had my back turned, I could feel the listeners looking around thinking “how rude the girl’s talking, silence your phone person!!!” Little did they know it was my phone. So as soon as I was done I snuck over and tried to glanced at my phone (trying to be sneeky…aka not rude). When I could not find out who had left the message, by looking at the missed calls.. I think that I had a small panic attack. I grabbed the phone and took off to find a place to listen that wasn’t surrounded by people. Luckily it turned out to be my Dad…whew that was close.

But now I had this concern that it would go to straight to voicemail and no message and I would never know….

ob·sess [əb séss, ob séss]
(past ob·sessed, past participle ob·sessed, present participle ob·sess·ing, 3rd person present singular ob·sess·es)
v
1.  vt preoccupy: to occupy somebody’s thoughts constantly and exclusively
The desire for vengeance obsesses him.
 
2.  vi be preoccupied with: to think or worry about something constantly and compulsively
You can’t spend your vacation obsessing about money.

While searching for the love of my life…

{ September 1, 2008 @ 10:36 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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For those of you who don’t know I am searching for the love of my life in the best place that there can be…online. It is not like I haven’t tried it before but I have never been successful. I guess I have never had any success in dating at all.

I have what I would like to call a first date disease. For those that may not have this problem let me explain what it is. You meet a guy, you email the guy back and forth, you then have some great phone conversations where you both laugh and enjoy each other…Finally you set up a time to meet. That is where I can’t decide where my problem lies because I do have a canceling symptom. It seems that some guys figure out that I may pass the one date curse onto them and they decide that it is not even worth meeting me. If they do decide to meet me, we have a great date.

By that I mean that there is more laughing and lots of banter, some flirting, nothing to much special I mean it is a first date. I think where the disease really shows up is in the goodbye. I am usually ready to leave before something goes wrong and I tell them how much fun I have had… then I give them a hug. I am not that huggy to someone that I do not know, so they should be happy with that! he he. Anyways no second date is ever had and usually that is the last of the contact from them.

I think that I am a very fun person. I have a normal social life and get along with a lot of people. It might be that I don’t gush over the boys and they take it as though I am not that interested. Even if I might not be crazy about them I would still like to give them another shot with a second date. (not all would get a second date, but you know what I mean) There are too many boys missing out on me. I do have my quirks, but I would say that I am pretty normal. Who doesn’t like their birthday cake to have confetti.

I have the Magic to repel men in two sentences.

{ August 29, 2008 @ 3:05 am } · { Uncategorized }
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So this week, I went on a date. I do not go on dates that often and I have never been on a second date. Somehow I ended up telling way to many people that I was going on a date. I tend not to make this mistake because then others don’t know that I haven’t already been dating. It is a pride issue.

I also discovered that when in the moment, there is nothing that great about dating. I thought the guy was ok and normal but I don’t think that I really wanted to be there. I just wanted to already know how things would turn out.

After it was all said and I done, I had more fun telling people about the date. That yes, I did in fact go on a date. So many people called or sent messages that I was overwhelmed. How many people did I tell? By the time I got thru answering the phone calls, and the texts, and the messages I almost wish that I had not gone. But I truly wished that I had not told people.

The truth is, I told people because I had two dates in a row with two different people. I was proud. I, Ms. Chubby with the great personality, has a dating life. It can’t be. Well I was right about one thing, it wasn’t going to all be true. One of the dates cancelled the night before by a nice text message. Hey Amy! I have class and won’t be able to make it! We need to reschedule our sushi fest!! I thought that since he did use punctuation, that it meant he really did want to reschedule. I tried to be cool and I sent back a text that said. That is fine. Do you know of another time or will you get back to me? But then no reply.

What could I have said in those two sentences to deem no reply. So I think that somehow I have the magic to repel men in two sentences. I believe that I do it all the time.

—Time out! I know that there are plenty of people who would tell me. ‘Don’t worry he might get back to you’. Or maybe ‘No, it had nothing to do with your text message he is Lame, I’m sorry, but that’s just lame to cancel by text’. Thank you to all those pretend people mentioned beforehand, but it does not make me feel any better. Because for once I don’t really care. Would I want him to reschedule yea, but I don’t really care. At least they both did not cancel—

Time back in, I guess but I really think that this brain wave is just a continued point from my earlier Time out. (see above) I have had more cancelled dates then actual dates. Does this happen to a lot of people? Is there this build up of excitement and then someone asks someone out and then it never happens. The last time a guy called the day of and cancelled a date I got a little strange. Mind you, he could have actually not meant to double book me with something else. And if that had not happened to me… I don’t know, three times before, I might have just said, “That’s ok, Call me when we can reschedule.” Nooo I got into a fight with someone that I didn’t even really know. All because I was insecure. After the whole deal blew over I came to realize that I might not be as normal as I thought. Then the conclusion came to me, “Good for you, you might be able to date then!”

Why do you have to have problems to date others? Is it because you have to put up with so much of someone’s else BULL that you think they should have to put up with yours!! I would rather just not date someone, but met someone and get married have some fights, and than fall in love. At least then I would never worry about living up to what I thought was going to happen. I have a wild imagination and it is being to turn on me. Instead of me meeting a guy and then seeing wedding bells… I am meeting a guy and wondering how I will feel when we are not dating anymore.

Lots of people praised me for actually going on the date… hmm, why is this so great. Maybe they think that I don’t date by choice and that I finally allowed myself to go. (I like it, but I don’t think that this is the case.) Maybe they think that my attitude has changed. (I think that the more dates I go on the worse that my attitude gets.) Maybe I just don’t know why.

So I have been telling myself and others that I do not care if I go out with Mr. Tuesday again. I sent him an email, that was our prime way of communicating, and it was what he said to do at the end of our date the other night. I have not heard from him, and I am not concerned because remember- 1.) I don’t really care and 2.) It has only been a day. I don’t even know if I would go out with the guy again. I almost feel bad because I know that I would want him to drive out to where I live and come up with the date… Just a whole bunch of things that do not matter. I am already looking for reasons why I should not go out with him again.

But one thing is clear. I do want him to ask me out again.(So I can know that I really was a good date) and I do want to go on an actual second date (so I can break my second date curse) and then I want to be done with him. I don’t want to deal with this boy right now, because well should I admit it….

I am already in Love. Yes, there I said it. Every bone in my body does not want to be, but I can not help it. I am crazy and because of that, I am in love. With someone who does not know it. With someone who I will never tell.  We have been friends a very long time and while I tell my other friends that I love them all the time I can not tell him. The reason I can not tell him is because I don’t just love him, I Love him. It breaks my heart when he hugs me hello and kisses me on the cheek. It hurts every time he winks at me, it lingers in my mind every time I don’t do something that I want to do because he may find out, or guess. I get disgusted with myself when I give in and do something stupid, like play with his hand.

With that being said, since I would not like a dumbbutt, I think that he does know. I do not see how he can’t know. And that makes me hate him. I am a good actress but how can he not know. I keep a lot to myself. I did not go to his Birthday party because I thought that I could wean myself from him. Better to not see him at all right?

It came to the point where I was going to, I was going to tell him how I felt. I called and no answer. I was never more relieved. Then I was going to write a letter. But how would I put it. How would I be able to phrase all my one sided love without looking like a total, and I mean total crazy women. I told my beff friend and hoped that she would tell him without me telling her to tell him, but she is to good of a friend, she won’t slip. I can’t tell him and I won’t let go, so I think that I will continue to go crazy.

Here is where I think I should have a disclaimer. I do not want to be crazy and I hope that one day I will figure out this guy’s hold over me. I want to believe that someone will come sweep me back onto my sane feet and then sweep me off of them. That is what I need. That is why I seek it. I need a man with superpowers. Someone who can make me forget and give me hope again. And since I don’t think that is to much to ask,  I want it to be easy! ‘nuf said.