Today I went and saw the movie He’s Just Not That Into You and its funny… I wish that I had seen this movie a year ago. Although I don’t know if things would have been different if I had. I actually read the book when it came out, just like the movie it was clear… If a guy likes you he will make it know. I have also had the opportunity to meet a guy who has been very honest with me and given me a new guys perspective.
I found that from the outside I can see very clearly whether a guy is NOT into me, however I am not good at really knowing if a guy IS into me. There have been times in which I was sure that someone was flirting with me… I have to tell you that I love these times. I find myself being more aware of myself, and I like that. I tend to actually be nicer to my self esteem. I look forward to the chance meetings and I love avoiding the glances made by the guy. I am not sure if they know that I can see them trying to get my attention, or if I am that good at faking it.
There was this one guy who I can actually remember the first time that I saw him. I was standing on a ladder when he walked by. OK so I don’t think that I can avoid telling the small details so I will just have to… I worked in the mall and I was a manager of a very nice store. I was in the window doing a display when a new security guard walked by. I have no idea why he caught my attention but there I was trying to get some silly cardboard thing level with fishing wire. But there it was… this moment in which I was looking and discovered that he was looking back, and I did what I always do… as soon as I realize that something was happening I looked away.
I did not go out of my way to find him again, but I can’t say the same thing about him. It wasn’t too long before he would come by and then come in. I had to get really good at not noticing him. My coworkers found the whole thing very entertaining. If I was not there, they would tell when he came in and how he would eventually get around to asking where I was. I remember the day that I said something to him for the first time and how he smiled and smiled. I also remember how after several weeks, maybe even months we had a full conversation. I was telling him this story and he was eating a snack that the store had out for the customers. He was so caught up in me that he placed a pen in his mouth instead of the snack. That was one of the cutest things a guy has ever done. It wasn’t what he did it was how he reacted.
It was later that week that he came in and was talking to a coworker of mine, who he actually went to school with, and she ended up walking away mad… the reason was that he kept bringing ME up. “We talked for awhile yesterday.” Things like that. Thats when I decided that I should give him my phone number. I worked up a plan and with the knowledge that he was interested. I had written my number on a business card so that I could give it to him when the opportunity arises.
Little did I know that it would come up that very afternoon. I was walking to go home and passed the security car that he was in, I got up my nerve and I turned around, walked right back to the car, and handed him my card. “You dropped something that I thought you might like to have,” I said very innocently and then I walked away. I never looked back and I waited til I got to the car before I freakedout. Actually i did not freak out, I was just more surprised that I actually did it.
Nothing came out this, he never called and by the time I had started to pay him attention he had a girlfriend. He would still walk by and start random conversations. Actually I figured out this game of sorts… He would walk by and if I acknowledged that he was there it would take a long time before he would come by again… However I would see him coming, because I am one of those people that knows generally what is going on around me at all times. I was the Boss so I had to be super aware.. anyways I would notice that he was coming and just about the time that we would make eye contact I would lift a box in the line of vision or I would drop something… Then I would tell my coworker, “Alright give him two minutes.” And two minutes later here he would come. Never failed. Still to this day I think about how strange it was that I let myself get so carried away. I ended up flirting with him way too much and somehow kept my feelings open… I wish that I had checked myself earlier.
I do some of the strangest things when it comes to Boys!!
